literature

Marilyn's Examination

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Failure, it seemed, was one of Marilyn’s family’s core values.

Each and every one of them, even the children, had failed pathetically in some way, which had led to the family’s current squalor.  It ran all the way back to the dawn of time, she was sure. Except a great-grandfather who had actually figured this life thing out, but he too eventually screwed it up. He had amassed tons of money through taking over small businesses through both legal and illegal means, such as blackmail, and had used the money to buy out even larger corporations. But he had slipped up somewhere and was exposed and killed for it. That was way back before any of them had been born, so none of his supposed riches were left. She sighed as she made her way into the building.

That all ended today. Today, all she would have to do was succeed once. She only had to take a couple of entrance examinations. Well… she would have to succeed twice, technically; as there was a written version of the test as well as a practical one. And then the training, that was a test as well in its own way. She bit her lip. From now on she would have to give her all to turn her family’s name around and save them from the inevitable doom they were spiraling toward. Why was she the only one that saw it?

Each day, up until today, had been the same: go to work, study for this test, go home and take care of her siblings, listen to her mother nag, and go to bed. More work fit in there between studying and caring for her siblings on Mondays and Wednesdays (weekends too). There was no father in her family. The first hopeful contestant had ducked out on her mother and run off with another woman, someone with hope and a future. Her mother had failed by choosing another man that had not survived long enough to take his place.

She surmised that that was pretty harsh; he did not have any control over his life or health. But he could have put more effort into trying to provide instead of lying around sick all the time.

Her mother had never made anything of herself or had never wanted to. She was content with the housewife life, which would have been perfectly fine if she had not failed at finding a father figure to provide for them all. She had a little job, but nothing substantial. She was trapped in it as she just didn’t have the qualifications to get the kind of job that Marilyn believed the family needed her to have. However, had she acted earlier and studied harder in school, this wouldn’t have been a problem. Her sisters, fraternal twins, were poor students and had very little interest in sports. While they were not completely hopeless they were not the prodigies that the family needed to get out of its rut. She really did love them as any big sister would, but neither of them, it appeared to her, had any real ambition at all.

So that left her to be their savior. But she was not without her blemishes as well. She had already been held back in seventh grade and had not been considered for either financial aid or scholarships for college because of her poor marks in high school.

She had found a good job bagging at a grocery for a while but had decided that it paid too little. That is why she had gotten the job at SalGen in the first place. Someone had apparently noticed the way she handled herself and her diligence toward moving advancing her family. She had taken the job as soon as it was offered to her. It was as a simple security guard, but it paid well enough for her to make sure the fridge was full and that her sisters got to and from school. She could work both of the jobs at this point without much difficulty. And the big plus was the room for advancement at SalGen.

Hence her presence in the Defense Department building now. SalGen had just recently been rebuilt after being destroyed a few years ago, and after its new facility was finished, it had flourished, gaining even more affluence than it had had originally. It led the way when it came to the research and development of medical products. There was plenty of money to go around.

All she had to do was succeed this once, just climb over this one gigantic hill…  She had studied for it as though she were trying to get into college again, even while at work sometimes. Her mother was worried she was over-working herself for nothing, she was confident that the family was fine. But she said this while trying to quiet one of the girl’s complaints about the cold water. Mom had not been able to pay the bill that month. She had once made a comment about how she had never thought of holding two jobs at the age of twenty, and Marilyn had turned and yelled at her, “That’s because you were already used to being a poor, widowed housewife!”

She still had not apologized for that yet. While she knew it to be true, she had not meant to make her mother cry.

She took her seat among the other hopefuls, some dressed in their work clothes as they were just taking the time off for the test, and others dressed in their everyday clothes. Raggedy shirts and torn jeans, coveralls, and brightly colored vests abounded everywhere. She, however, was dressed for the success she hoped for: a sharp black suit that she had borrowed from a cousin (he had bought it for a graduation that he had not been able to attend) and one of her second father’s ties. She was not about to wear a dress; she believed it would give her potential superiors the wrong image. She was not there to be ogled; she was there to outperform them in every way.

She pulled out her pencils, two in case one broke, and waited restlessly for the tests to be passed out.  

There were several suited officials observing the test-takers and creating an apprehensive atmosphere of grave seriousness. They seemed to make the sterile white room even more stuffy and claustrophobic. Marilyn decided to keep her eyes on the test and try to ignore them. It was a Scantron multiple-choice dealie, reminding her of the big nation-wide tests that she used to take in grade school.

Maybe this was not going to be so difficult after all.

She glanced around at the others, wondering if they were thinking the same thing. A boy sitting near the front stood and asked for everyone’s attention. She had seen him earlier and thought he was someone’s kid that had been sitting there waiting for a parent to finish. “As everyone is well aware, this examination is a requirement for the new positions in the security department that have just opened up. Let it be noted that a good score on this test does not automatically qualify you for the position, but it will give you a huge leg up in the consideration process. Failure, however, will immediately disqualify you from consideration.” He smiled at that last bit, as if he was purposefully trying to create extra tension; he seemed to be enjoying himself. Marilyn looked him over, he had not introduced himself, but he was obviously someone important. She had heard something about one of SalGen’s executives being kind of young, but he was just a kid, no more than thirteen or so; she could not imagine having him as a boss. At least not one that she would take seriously.

He was tall for his age, and he wore his dyed-blonde hair in a short ponytail. She snickered, a little too loud, at the thought of some guy wearing his hair the same way she wore hers.

“What exactly does this job entail?” Someone asked.

The boy smiled, “I’m sorry. I can’t tell you exactly what it does. I can just hint at the fact that it’s confidential.” He was enjoying trying to be mysterious.

“Can we get a little more information than that?”

“Well,” he looked over some of the papers on the desk behind him. “It’s a step up from the security jobs and entails various different aspects. Some of them are security oriented, others… aren’t.”

The man groaned, obviously unsatisfied.

The boy was not deterred however. “The test is divided into three sections, fifty questions each, ranging from math application to more specific qualifications each possible employee needs to know prior to assuming the role. You will be timed.”  He looked around, making sure everything sunk in before he continued, “Please break the seal on you test booklets and begin.”

Marilyn obliged, a little anxious to get the whole thing over with and get back to the house. Within the first few minutes she noticed the similarities between the questions for her current job as a security guard, easy things about ethics and questions geared to ascertain her personality type. Easy stuff. With a grin she realized that this job was well within her grasp. Maybe she did not have to study so hard after all.

The kid called time just as she finished the last question, cutting it pretty close. She swept her bangs aside and followed his instructions to start the second part.

She saw right off that these questions were to be much more difficult.

No matter how much she focused, she could not help having part of her mind wander back to that day. She frowned and re-read the first question. Multiple-choice should not be this difficult, there were only so many options and one of them was guaranteed to be correct, right?

Maybe if she had looked at her options more carefully she would be able to concentrate now. Her eyes roved about the room, just to get a moment’s reprieve from the harsh uniformity of the paper lying before her.

Mom had been in the kitchen at that time, it seemed as though she was always in the kitchen back then, always working, but never really getting anything done. Marilyn had just gotten back from the grocery, tired, exhausted, but ready to start her night’s studying. She dragged herself over to the old, tattered, couch, and slumped down on it, tossing her book bag aside. It was late and the twins were supposed to be in bed, but one of them was still up, she had run over and plopped down beside her big sister, smiling up at her. It was way too late for her to be awake, she remembered thinking. Why would mom let her stay up so long?

Less out of annoyance and more out of weariness, Marilyn frowned down at her, “What do you want?” It came out more abrasive than she had intended. But her sister had not noticed; she pulled out a picture, drawn in crayon, of a girl wearing a blue uniform.

“I made this for you. It’s you!” Marilyn marveled at its detail, as far as she had known, they had still been drawing stick figures; this picture had an artistic sense of perspective and depth. Where had she been when she developed this talent?

Oh…

Time was winding down now and her confidence had been shot. She looked up at the clock, she was only a little over halfway through, stuck on a math problem, and if he gave them the same amount of time as he did last time, she only had five more minutes or so. She buckled down and reread the ques-

“Time.”

She looked up in disbelief. That was it?! There was no way she would have been able to finish, even if she had known all the answers! She glanced around at the others to see if they shared her opinion, she was dismayed to see the ratio of smug faces to the worried ones. Did they know something that she did not, or were they just that much better prepared? She frowned; there was no way she was going to fail after all of the time she had put into studying, but things were looking grim.

He instructed them to begin the final section, setting the timer as he spoke. Would this section have the same time limit or an even shorter one? She began to grow more and more anxious as time went on, tapping her pencil on the desk nervously. If she did not finish this section there was no way she would pass…

Marilyn had smiled at her little sister. Her uniform looked nothing like that, but she enjoyed the gift nonetheless. Taking it from her, she patted her on top of her head, “It’s very pretty, Kusha, but shouldn’t you be asleep now?”

Kusha smiled and hopped down wordlessly from the couch. Marilyn hugged her then she ran off and headed to bed. She looked over the picture again. Who knew she could draw?

Her mom walked up behind her, toweling off her hands, “I let her stay up to show that to you, she adores you, you know. You’re such a good big sister. I really admire the way you take care of them, but they see so little of you.”

Whether it was from being so tired, or the fact that she hated sharing a room with the girls, or that the heater was still broken, she did not know why she had shrugged her mother’s compliment off. Had she stayed up just to try to lecture her again? She reached down and pulled out her books without acknowledging her, pulling over the small table and setting up a study area.

“How much longer do you plan to stay up?” her mother asked.

Marilyn shrugged, “I dunno.”

Her mother placed a hand on her shoulder, “You should really get some sleep honey.”

Marilyn shrugged it off, “I have to study mom, just leave me alone for a while, please?”

Her mom nodded, backing off for a few moments.

An hour later she came back. It was three in the morning and Marilyn had to be at the grocery to help open the store and man the cash registers at five. “Marilyn honey, you have to get some sleep. You have work in a few hours.”

Marilyn turned, glaring at her in furious frustration, “Will you just leave me alone?! Shit!”

Her mother was taken aback, her daughter had never cursed in front of her before. “Honey… Go to bed. You won’t get anywhere by working yourself into the ground. There’s no reason to try so hard, you’re just a child, act like one.”

Marilyn fumed silently.

She looked up from the third question and glared at the boy for a couple of seconds; what was their game? What kind of test was this? He caught her looking at him and she quickly adverted her gaze back to her test, even more concerned. Would he fail her just because of that? Was she going to be able to finish this section? What would her family think when she received the news that she had failed?

Biting her lip she plowed ahead, trying to get as much finished as possible. She could go back and make corrections, but she figured it was more important to have some kind of answer rather than nothing at all.

Her mother had taken a seat beside her, “When I was your age I couldn’t even imagine trying to manage two jobs, much less trying to study so hard. I admire you for that, but-”

Marilyn leapt to her feet, “You couldn’t imagine it because you had no ambition!” She was yelling now and she didn’t know why, her body was moving itself and she watched from above as she vented herself on her mother who genuinely cared for her. “You were fine with living like this; you were fine with just barely getting by! You were fine with being in debt! You were fine with raising three kids by yourself while the asshole you wanted to share your life with decided to run off with some whore! You don’t even care, and you never did!”


Marilyn’s eyes began to water a bit as she tapped her pencil on the desk; she had not wanted to say that. She did not want to see that look of hurt in her mother’s eyes. It was not something that she could stand to see, but she was too angry at the time to apologize, too angry to see the pain she had caused.

She re-read the question then erased her choice. It had not been the best answer. Maybe she could say something to her today. Apologize for it. She was only a few questions into the corrections when he finally called time, but she was too distracted to really care; she was ready to go home.

She looked up at the clock; it had been just over three hours, a much shorter block of time than she had anticipated. Wearily, she sealed her answer sheet into the provided pouch and went to queue into the line with the others to turn it in and leave. Was it too late to apologize?

She did not feel at all confident about her success.

The boy smiled genially up at her as she turned in her test, “You look pretty sharp. You didn’t have to dress up, you know.”

Marilyn forced a little smile, “Yeah, I know.”

Most of the others had left by now, but he caught her arm as she turned to leave, “Hey, why do you want this job?”

“My family deserves the extra money, we’re barely pulling by as it is,” she answered honestly; slightly annoyed that he was holding her up.

He looked her over, sizing her up under the fluorescent lights. After a moment’s pause he spoke again, “It’s a pretty rough job, ya know, not the kind of thing that one tends to enjoy doing. And most importantly, there’s very little vacation time, if any at all; you’ll be ‘clocked in’ almost twenty-four seven. You won’t see much of your family at all. ” He watched her eyes to see how she would react to that.

She shrugged the warning off, “I’ll be fine.”

“What’s the point of providing for them if you never get to see them? Don’t you think your sisters will miss you?”

The question struck her. She remembered Kusha’s drawing.

She turned to leave, but stopped, “As long as they’re happy…”

He smiled knowingly, “I think they’ll be happier with you, rather than your money, ya know.”

She frowned, then opened the door.

He nodded, “You work as one of our security guards right now, correct? But you seemed a little agitated back there, why was that?”

She shrugged, “Test anxiety?”

He laughed and very professionally arranged the tests in a neat stack, “Yeah that happens.” He wondered if this was an accurate portrayal of how well she worked under pressure. “What’s your name?”

“Marilyn,” She replied as she exited, “Marilyn Altoph.”

As the door closed behind her he rearranged the test stack, putting hers on top. She seemed a little more anxious than he had predicted she would have been at the test’s conclusion.

Once outside Marilyn stopped, “Wait a second…”


Marilyn stared up at the popcorn-textured ceiling while absent-mindedly ignoring Lava’s story about her day in class as she sat on her big sister’s knee. Kusha was helping her mother wash the morning’s dishes, and having a little too much fun with the chore in Marilyn’s opinion. She stopped Lava, who immediately expressed her disapproval, and gazed intently at the distorted shadow approaching the window, the majority of its shape obscured by the old, beige, venetian blinds. It reached out and dropped something with an audible ‘plunk’ into the mailbox. Marilyn leapt up, rushing toward the door, but she was stopped by the quiet sniffles of her sister. She turned around to see the little girl on her knees on the floor, fighting back tears.

“Oh,” she rushed over to her, “I’m sorry sis.”

Lava looked up at her with watery eyes, on the verge of crying. Marilyn hugged her and picked her up, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” She carried her over to the door and reached out to pick up the mail.

As she carried her sister back to the couch they had been seated on, she sifted through the letters, looking for anything addressed from SalGen. The amount of final notices she passed by dismayed her. Was mom even trying to pay the bills? Or did she enjoy debt?

She absent-mindedly petted Lava’s head, reassuring her that she was okay as she found the envelope that she wanted. With trembling hands she walked over to the dinner table and took a seat, setting the unopened letter before her and staring at it like a plate of unappetizing food offered to an under-fed orphan.

She chewed on her lip.

She stood up and stared down at it, debating whether she should get her mother to open it or not. Would that jinx it?

She shook her head. No. Her score was already decided, everything was set in stone. She either failed or passed, nothing could change it now. Picking it up noticed that both of her sisters had come over to see the outcome of her efforts as well. She looked down at them and then over at her mother who was drying her hands while waiting expectantly. Marilyn looked at the envelope and then at her sisters.

Kusha hugged her leg, “Go ahead.” She knew Marilyn had been waiting for this for a long time.

Lava was frowning a little. If she hurried up and opened it they would finally get to know whether or not their big sister would be staying with them or not.

She looked up at her mother, “Should I… should I really take this-”

Her mother cut her off, “No reason to second guess yourself now, sweetie. Go on and open it.”

Marilyn picked up the envelope and tore the end off, drawing out and unfolding the letter.

She read it once, blinked in confusion, and then read it a second time.

Lava tugged on her leg, “Well? What’s it say?”

“I got the job.”

Her mother smiled, “Good job, honey.”

Marilyn didn’t seem all that elated however. She looked down at the twins again. It was then she realized that she had already missed out on too much of their lives so far. Her mother had been right. But she was in it for the long haul now; she had set out to do this and achieved her goal. Now was not the time to step back from her responsibilities.

But was it really worth it?

She glanced around the house; taking in all of the things she was tired of seeing: the ratty plastic blinds over the windows, the second-hand furniture, and the fact that it was an old apartment. The door to the girl’s room was broken, one of the hinges was missing, and the toilet constantly overflowed. They deserved better.

“When will you go?” Kusha asked, obviously upset that Marilyn had actually gotten the job.

She stood up straight and resolute before looked back down at the letter, “In about a week, for orientation. I’ll need a better suit.”
This is a story that i did for my creative writing class. I was generally pleased with the outcome but I'd still like some critques. I've continued it a bit since then, and i'm thinking about posting more of the series.

Anyways, please read it over and tell me what you think :D

all characters are copyright to me, so on and so on ect ect ect
© 2008 - 2024 antiknuckles
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